Too many times people will tell us that they forgive us only to later let us know they did not forget. They keep reminding us that they forgive but will never forget. I ask this question- How do you express true forgiveness when you know you will never forget what someone has done to you?
If you keep reminding the person that you will not "forget" what happened, but you will "forgive" them, how is that true forgiveness?
What is Forgiveness anyway? Forgiveness is the willingness to change your attitude about something or someone who you felt offended or hurt by. True forgiveness is the perfume of a crushed flower on the heel of the one who just trampled on it. Forgiveness unlocks the door of resentment, bitterness, hate, and hurt. It gives us the grace to change our attitude and our course of thinking in life and prevents collisions that would otherwise be catastrophic to us and others. True forgiveness never brings up the situation again. True forgiveness is given to us by God as He threw our sin into the sea of forgetfulness, never to remember again. If God forgives and forgets, then why is it man will not? When a person says they have forgiven someone, but will not let the person forget it, the person has never truly forgiven that person to begin with. When someone will not forgive AND forget, the resentment, chronic thoughts of what the person did, the ongoing hurt, strife, bitterness, and hate will never go away and the person is literally being locked behind bars voluntarily while they continue to hold the key! It would be as if the person put their own self in jail and no one can open the door and let them out, for the person is the only one holding the key. Forgiveness without forgetfulness causes you to develop physical symptoms such as: ongoing fatigue, irritability, insomnia, short-tempered, hormonal imbalances, migraines, high blood pressure, depression, anxiety, and the list goes on and on. Not everyone may internalize as others, but if you do not deal with the situation and allow God to help you forgive AND forget, your physical health can be hindered.
Recognize that forgiveness is an ACT of your WILL, not of your emotions- if you decide to wait until you "feel" like forgiving, you will live with bitterness in your heart and that bitterness will destroy you. You can actually block your own blessings by not forgiving and continuing to hold onto the hurt! Being healed by the power of forgiveness and allowing God to help you forget is an act of your will. Forgiveness is NOT for the other person that might have hurt you, forgiveness is for YOU!
It sets YOU FREE! You are not submitting toward another persons brutality, or condoning their injustice to you, you are willingly forgiving to bring cleansing to you! Forgive your enemies; it is the ONLY way to free your mind and emotions from the toxic poison of that painful hurt or memory! God will help you FORGIVE AND FORGET!
Let's remember in Matthew 5:23-24 when Jesus said, "Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, you should leave your gift before the altar and go your way to first be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift". Forgiveness must take place NOW! Jesus essentially said, "Stop now and forgive the one that hurt you, and then return to the place of prayer, for all of the other good things you do in the name of the Lord are worthless until you decide to deal with your own forgiveness"!
We must forgive TOTALLY! When the apostle Peter asked Jesus how many times should he forgive his brother when his brother wronged him, it shocked Peter when Jesus said, "Seventy times Seven"
That a total of 490 times! The message Jesus was trying to get across to Peter was: Forgive until it becomes a habit. QUIT counting offenses!! If someone offends you in some way, forgive them.... and keep on forgiving them. You do not have to be a doormat, but you do have to forgive TOTALLY, COMPLETELY and CONTINUALLY! God will help you "Forgive and Forget".
Remember your CHOICE determines your future; If you harbor anger and bitterness toward someone and will not forgive nor forget, then Christ can hold it against you. Matthew 4:32. We should forgive one another even as God in Christ forgave you! Let go of the grudges you harbor, let go of the bitterness, and all resentments from the past. We must forgive from the heart and FORGIVE and FORGET from the heart totally and completely. Forgive and Be Free!
Be Blessed!
Tammy
