Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Watch Your Step

I learned a valuable lesson last year and wanted to share it with you. I know women are more liberated and independent, but when you marry and join together with your spouse before God, we have to remember not to "over-step" our boundary that God has placed for us. For God to help your husband be the man he needs to be to lead and direct the family, we have to trust him and have faith in him while God is working with him each day. We all  continue to grow in our walk with God each day as we strive to learn and be more like Christ as we study God's Word and meet with Him in prayer. 
As God continues to work in us, we, as women, don't want to reverse the roles that God set for us, meaning the husband is to be the leader and take responsibility for protecting his family and stand up for the family. God places alot of responsibility on men as leaders of the house. They are to walk with God in counsel and allow God to lead them. Now I learned a huge lesson about this when I overstepped my boundary and decided my husband wasn't doing enough to protect and lead, so I stepped into his place and took it upon myself to handle- major mistake!! I had been having issues with my car and took it to a local dealership and after 3-4 trips back into the service department for the same thing just to be told I would have to miss more work to be back to pick up the car,etc. I felt inconvenienced for having to take off work early to turn in a rental car and get my car all before they closed just to be stuck with the same problem and couldn't drive the car fr and knowing they closed I was having to bring the car at back the next morning! After the 3rd time this happened, I was losing patience and knew I could not continue to miss work over this same problem that never seemed to get fixed! I told my husband that I was going to speak to the service manager and I was mad! For me, I don't get mad hardly ever and I was furious and felt like my husband wasn't doing enough to get the job done and let them know they need to get it corrected now! I felt the Holy Spirit convicting me not to act, but the more I kept thinking of how they people at the service department just were not listening to my husband, the madder I got! Maybe he was not being stern enough? I felt that nudge again from the Holy Spirit not to act on my thoughts, even though I knew better than to dismiss the Holy Spirit's nudges, I thought well I have to handle this. So, I put on my cowgirl boots (which are my favorite and I guess made me think I was stronger lol), I marched right in that service dept., motioned to my 6ft 4" husband to stand back and sit down for I was "handling" this!! Well I made quite a stir and was highly upset and walked out and the whole way home I blasted my husband for not standing up and letting them run over him! He sat there and didn't say a word, which was uncommon! My teenage sons sat there wondering what just happened to mom, she hardly ever gets mad!
Needless to say, God was NOT happy with my actions and I couldn't sleep that night and noticed my hip was really hurting and I was up and down all night and my hip joint felt like a drill was grinding down into the bone all night and into the next day. I was in tears the next day at work because the pain was excruciating and I have a high pain tolerance so for me to be in tears I was in a lot of pain! What I didn't realize was God was teaching me a valuable lesson. It was later that day that a Pastor that mentors me a lot in the ministry and is also a prophet of God stopped by and noticed I was in pain and asked what was going on and what boundaries I had crossed? Huh? What did he mean? As I told him about my car and how mad I was and I just "had to handle the situation" to get results, he stopped me right there and said, "You are in pain because you stepped out into a place you shouldn't have, you are hurting in the hip because that is the pivot area used when we step out and you have stepped where you shouldn't have, do you realize you have just crushed your husband?"  Woah!!  I felt Gods conviction and I "saw" what I did! In my actions, I literally told my husband he wasn't good enough to lead the family and I didn't trust him, which can tear a man down hard! When my Pastor friend, who was sent by God to stop by on that exact day, showed me what I had done, I immediately asked God to forgive me and then headed to see my husband and I sincerely apologized and told him how I had wronged him and I owed my teenage children an apology that knew what I did along with apologizing I the service department! I had to make this right, God showed me I have to be watchful and careful never to do this ever again. It crushed me to think I had publicly humiliated my husband and God for that matter! I mean for gosh sakes, I'm an ordained minister of God, I am so ashamed!!  
What happened next was quite amazing- I was still in pain with my hip, it had eased up some but not fully. After I apologized to the service department and manager and my husband, I was driving the rental car and by the time I drove home to the country I realized my hip quit hurting! I was pain free!! Yes it's true! God allowed to pain to go away. God taught me a valuable lesson that day that there are certain boundaries I am not to step across!! I learned that for God to lead and guide my husband and teach him to stand up and handle issues like this, I had to not get in Gods way! There may be times when God will nudge you and let you know when you need to stand up for various issues for your family, when per say your spouse or boyfriend is not able to be there or is out of town, etc. Always follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit, don't do like I did and step out on your own and fail to listen to God because only pain and hurt will come about when you do not heed Gods warning! Take it from me, when the Holy Spirit nudges you NOT to act, please listen and stand still!

Oh, and with the car, it still was not fixed, so I stayed home and allowed my husband to go and "handle it" for he was the man of the family and I learned my lesson! Let's just say since I learned my lesson and did not step out, my husband handled things perfectly and the owner of the dealership repaired several things with the car free of charge!

Be Blessed!